2007 January « Methed Up

#1. “This would make a great reality show.” What’s weird is that “Baby Borrowers” is actually pretty cool. Some of these teenagers are horrible people. Horrible. The good news is that their boy or girlfriends get to find out. The absence of cash and prizes certainly brings out a different quality in people. I honestly only [...] <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=k8DSNn"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=k8DSNn" border="0"></img></a><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/325438039" height="1" width="1"/>

I Feel So Sleezy

Remember these? High school gym shorts from the 1980’s. Wow. At the time I thought they were pretty hot, at least on certain guys. You had to have pretty great legs to pul[ this look off, but there were always a couple of guys in gym class who fit the bill. I think the poly-knit [...] <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=ItXD9q"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=ItXD9q" border="0"></img></a><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/322759259" height="1" width="1"/>

Who is the Devil?

I don’t get to see my sister often; usually at family events with our dad. She lives in Alaska with her daughter and husband. She has maintained a close relationship with our dad over the years, and I have only recently restored that relationship. Stephanie and I, the two oldest of four siblings, most closely [...] <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=wh0TUi"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=wh0TUi" border="0"></img></a><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/319828989" height="1" width="1"/>

A Perfect Storm - of Inconvenience

We always talk about recovery as being a program of paradox. I had never really thought about it before today but I think that addiction is paradox, too. For 23 years after my first introduction to the solution I persevered in my effort to exhaust every possibility I could think of to control and enjoy [...] <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=481CDg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=481CDg" border="0"></img></a><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/317104599" height="1" width="1"/>

Confessions of a Blue Boy in a Red State

Today is a good day. Today is the first truly good day I’ve had in quite awhile. I called my new sponsor today. I’m seeing him tomorrow. I’m starting the steps over from scratch. I’m doing that because I want to learn how someone with nearly four decades sober, someone who has helped hundreds of people get sober, [...] <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=xR8Gtv"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=xR8Gtv" border="0"></img></a><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/310125012" height="1" width="1"/>

If You Lived Here You’d Be Home Now

In the late 80s and early 90s they were not an uncommon site along the freeways leaving downtown Los Angeles; huge condo projects festooned with banners that read “If you lived here you’d be home now.” When the topic was brought up at a meeting, what are you doing today for your recovery, it’s [...] <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=ihbit9"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=ihbit9" border="0"></img></a><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/308978316" height="1" width="1"/>

Day 16 - He’s Come Undone

Posted on January 30, 2007 by Chris

This morning as I was lying in bed, groping at the last dusty pockets of sleep and resisting the start of the day my ‘roommate’ (I’m fortunate that I only have the one in my room, most of them being triples) started freeking out about the lack of hot water for his shower. Now hot [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, crystal meth, early recovery, straight guys | 1 Comment »

Day 14 (aka Bad Treatment)

Posted on January 28, 2007 by Chris

I’ve deleted the name and address of the treatment center I have been at because I’m going to say some rotten shit.
Let me start by saying though that after I left the facility and rode a shuttle home (seven hours - better than 14 and half the price, thank you) I did manage to walk [...]

Filed under: Boundaries, Culture & Society, Gay Community, Milestones, Personal Reflections, crystal meth, early recovery, recovery, straight guys | 3 Comments »

Day 5 - Revisited

Posted on January 19, 2007 by Chris

The last thing I did before I took the 14 hour bus ride to Pocatello was get high. That’s sexy isn’t it? Shooting up in the bathroom of a Greyhound station? There’s a way to meet quality friends.
So then I’m trapped on a bus for fourteen hours wishing I could fuck the [...]

Filed under: Milestones, crystal meth, early recovery, recovery | 4 Comments »

Protected: The Begining of Recovery

Posted on January 14, 2007 by Chris

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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Day 9

Posted on January 13, 2007 by Chris

If you had asked me yesterday at this time how I was doing I would have told you that, for the moment anyway, I had been relieved of that odd hook that has always followed me with this addiction; the regret that I had not gotten high one more time. It left me temporarily.
It’s [...]

Filed under: Personal Reflections, crystal meth, early recovery, future | 1 Comment »

Day 8

Posted on January 12, 2007 by Chris

I’m not sure if I know what I was getting myself in to moving into the Compas House. It’s a theraputic community run by S.H.I.P., Inc. which is a not-for-profit here in Boise that helps people in recovery stay sober and have access to affordable housing. The “TC” includes housing which I share [...]

Filed under: S.H.I.P., community, crystal meth, early recovery, future, out, recovery, straight guys | No Comments »

Day 6

Posted on January 10, 2007 by Chris

On one of the blogs I love I noticed this morning that I’m apparantly not the only one going through this. I guess things are shitty all over. Oddly, that makes me feel good.
I don’t sleep through the night anymore. I have a hard time concentrating. It may take me [...]

Filed under: crystal meth, early recovery, methed up friends | No Comments »

Early Days

Posted on January 9, 2007 by Chris

This is day 5. I can’t tell you about the first 4 days. I wasn’t here for them. Not much anyway. I spent the better part of them sleeping. And eating. I think I’ve gained ten pounds since I last used. I want to get high so [...]

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