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    • The 7 Words You Shouldn’t Say
      #1. “This would make a great reality show.” What’s weird is that “Baby Borrowers” is actually pretty cool. Some of these teenagers are horrible people. Horrible. The good news is that their boy or girlfriends get to find out. The absence of cash and prizes certainly brings out a different quality in people. I honestly only [...] <p><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=k8DSNn"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=k8DSNn" border="0"></img></a></p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/325438039" height="1" width="1"/>
    • I Feel So Sleezy
      Remember these? High school gym shorts from the 1980’s. Wow. At the time I thought they were pretty hot, at least on certain guys. You had to have pretty great legs to pul[ this look off, but there were always a couple of guys in gym class who fit the bill. I think the poly-knit [...] <p><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=ItXD9q"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=ItXD9q" border="0"></img></a></p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/322759259" height="1" width="1"/>
    • Who is the Devil?
      I don’t get to see my sister often; usually at family events with our dad. She lives in Alaska with her daughter and husband. She has maintained a close relationship with our dad over the years, and I have only recently restored that relationship. Stephanie and I, the two oldest of four siblings, most closely [...] <p><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=wh0TUi"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=wh0TUi" border="0"></img></a></p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/319828989" height="1" width="1"/>
    • A Perfect Storm - of Inconvenience
      We always talk about recovery as being a program of paradox.  I had never really thought about it before today but I think that addiction is paradox, too.  For 23 years after my first introduction to the solution I persevered in my effort to exhaust every possibility I could think of to control and enjoy [...] <p><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=481CDg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=481CDg" border="0"></img></a></p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/317104599" height="1" width="1"/>
    • Confessions of a Blue Boy in a Red State
      Today is a good day. Today is the first truly good day I’ve had in quite awhile. I called my new sponsor today.  I’m seeing him tomorrow.  I’m starting the steps over from scratch. I’m doing that because I want to learn how someone with nearly four decades sober, someone who has helped hundreds of people get sober, [...] <p><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=xR8Gtv"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=xR8Gtv" border="0"></img></a></p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/310125012" height="1" width="1"/>
    • If You Lived Here You’d Be Home Now
      In the late 80s and early 90s they were not an uncommon site along the freeways leaving downtown Los Angeles; huge condo projects festooned with banners that read “If you lived here you’d be home now.” When the topic was brought up at a meeting, what are you doing today for your recovery, it’s [...] <p><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?a=ihbit9"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/TheLastChanceTexaco?i=ihbit9" border="0"></img></a></p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLastChanceTexaco/~4/308978316" height="1" width="1"/>

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Thank God it’s Friday!

Posted on August 28, 2007 by Chris

Wow. What a week. I’ve learned allot. I’ve accomplished some; some more than had been accomplished by my predecessor in the last 6 months, which is a good thing. I’ve got more ideas than when I stepped into the job, which I think means I won’t be a one hit wonder [...]

Filed under: Daily Grind, Personal Reflections, Willingness | Tagged: | No Comments »

We are the Actors, He is the Director

Posted on August 27, 2007 by Chris

Well, actually, I am. At least from 9 to 5. Today I start my new job as the Alternative Donations Director for the NFP that I work for. I’ll be in charge of leasing or purchasing warehouse space in Boise and Nampa, Idaho and setting up manned donation centers in them, developing our corporate giving [...]

Filed under: Faith, God | Tagged: , | No Comments »

In the Right Place at the Perfect Time

Posted on August 25, 2007 by Chris

In the Spiritual Experience it talks about the change that takes place for those of us in recovery being apparent to others long before we realize it ourselves.  I’ve spent a bit of time recently looking at my older posts and it’s clear to me that I have indeed come a  long way.  I’d like [...]

Filed under: Courage, Gratitude, Willingness | Tagged: , , | No Comments »

Scratching My Head About What’s Just Not There

Posted on August 24, 2007 by Chris

WASHINGTON — Astronomers have stumbled upon a tremendous hole in the universe. That’s got them scratching their heads about what’s just not there. The cosmic blank spot has no stray stars, no galaxies, no sucking black holes, not even mysterious dark matter. It is 1 billion light years across of nothing. That’s an expanse of [...]

Filed under: Faith, God | Tagged: , | No Comments »

Sunrise

Posted on August 21, 2007 by Chris

The last few days, when I wake up and pad to the kitchen to pour my first cup of coffee, I have noticed something different in my attitude.  I used to dread morning.  I have never described myself as a morning person.  Morning was painful, always meaning I had to face another day of heartache, [...]

Filed under: Addiction, Faith, God, Gratitude, Hope, Humility, Love, Personal Reflections, Spirit, recovery | 1 Comment »

Love reads like a bad biography; all the names are changed to protect the innocent.

Posted on August 19, 2007 by Chris

I have always thought of this as a safe and reasonable place for me to examine and work out the hurdles of a clean and sober life; a  place where my defects and the lessons I learn along the way can perhaps lend hope to others; a place where I can receive support from other [...]

Filed under: Acceptance, Amends, Anger, Boundaries, Culture and Society, Family and Friends, Fear, Forgiveness, Grief, Humility, Love, Mind, Personal Reflections, Spirit, Step Work, Willingness, crystal meth, early recovery, methamphetamine, recovery | 7 Comments »

No Friends

Posted on August 18, 2007 by Chris

Isn’t that charming?
No matter.  My sister is in town with my nephews and she actually wants to see me.  I couldn’t be happier.

Filed under: Culture and Society, Daily Grind, Etc., Family and Friends, Fear, Gay Community, Personal Reflections, community | 3 Comments »

Meth Toll

Posted on August 18, 2007 by Chris

Yesterday the North County Times in San Diego, CA published an article on the financial strain and additional workload methamphetamine places on emergency rooms. Dr. Mike Sise, trauma medical director at Scripps Mercy Hospital in San Diego reports that annual uncompensated cost of care for meth addicts and abusers totals over $1.5 million dollars [...]

Filed under: Addiction, Body, Culture and Society, Etc., Faith, Fear, God, Gratitude, Health, Humility, Personal Reflections, Willingness, community, crystal meth, methamphetamine, methed up friends, recovery | 3 Comments »

Holding up my head as my heart falls out of sight.

Posted on August 16, 2007 by Chris

Everything will be all right. Everything will be all right.
“Trina’s Song,” Falsettoland
William Finn
I haven’t listened to Falsettos in years and years. When I first heard it years ago it quickly became my favorite musical. I only discovered it, like many of the plays I love, by watching the Tony awards. Ran [...]

Filed under: Acceptance, Addiction, Anger, Faith, Fear, God, Gratitude, Grief, Mind, Personal Reflections, Spirit, crystal meth, methamphetamine, recovery | 1 Comment »

I am so fucking twisted

Posted on August 15, 2007 by Chris

I can’t even see the gifts of my Creator or of recovery as gifts, but as torture.
First Cory texts me today and says
This is going to sound weird, but I have two tiny presents for you…can we meet sometime today or tomorrow? (they’re time sensitive). (:
I wait. I talk to my sponsor. [...]

Filed under: Acceptance, Addiction, Anger, Family and Friends, God, Grief, Men, Mind, Personal Reflections, Spirit, crystal meth, early recovery, methamphetamine, methed up friends, straight guys | 7 Comments »

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