• RSS The Last Chance Texaco

    • Wishful Thinking
      I’d really like a job offer from Current Media.
    • I Hate Confrontation
      I hate confrontation, but I’m afraid I find myself in a position where I have to have one.  With my boss. My paycheck bounced. I’m trying to save up some money so that I can declare bankruptcy and my paycheck is bouncing.  I can’t stand it.  My student loan and my car payments are due as is [...]
    • Winter Night
      My sobriety anniversary is very important to me and it’s coming up here soon, but it doesn’t quite move me the same way December 13th does.  December 13th, today, happens also to be my birthday, but my God, I’m 44 years old.  My “birthday” is not really a big deal anymore.  No, the anniversary I [...]
    • Grabbing Ahold
      “I wish I was smarter.  I wish I was stronger.”   Patty Griffin It brings me no comfort knowing I’m in a position I’ve been in before; hopeless, out of answers, hurting and not knowing why.  And I am frightened to find that at nearly three years sober, the longest I have been sober since [...]
    • Nothing You Can Find – Reprise
      I was thinking about an old post last night, Nothing You Can Find That Cannot Be Found, and about how lucky I was, that early in recovery, to have been protected from the worst of my temptations.  A little space for a little while can be a good thing while you’re getting your sober legs.  [...]
    • Sweeping
      “Simply tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults [...]

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Love reads like a bad biography; all the names are changed to protect the innocent.

Posted on August 19, 2007 by Chris

I have always thought of this as a safe and reasonable place for me to examine and work out the hurdles of a clean and sober life; a  place where my defects and the lessons I learn along the way can perhaps lend hope to others; a place where I can receive support from other [...]

Filed under: Acceptance, Amends, Anger, Boundaries, Culture and Society, Family and Friends, Fear, Forgiveness, Grief, Humility, Love, Mind, Personal Reflections, Spirit, Step Work, Willingness, crystal meth, early recovery, methamphetamine, recovery | 7 Comments »

Leaving the keys

Posted on August 12, 2007 by Chris

Nothing quite ends a chapter in a relationship like leaving the keys when you leave.  The last thing remaining in Cory’s house was my bed.  I honestly didn’t know how I was going to get it out of there.  Jon had suggested I find a neutral female to help me with that.  But where to [...]

Filed under: Acceptance, Amends, Boundaries, Daily Grind, Etc., Humility, Milestones, Personal Reflections, Spirit, Step Work, Willingness, early recovery, methamphetamine, methed up friends, recovery | 1 Comment »

You know you’re slipping when . . .

Posted on August 2, 2007 by Chris

your roommate pulls you aside to tell you she’s done a 4th step on you and there are some things she’d like to discuss.
Ouch!
But she’s entirely right.  Fortunately I had seen the same things and made large strides in improving the situation before she said anything so even though she may not have noticed it, [...]

Filed under: Acceptance, Amends, Body, Daily Grind, Family and Friends, Humility, Willingness, recovery | 2 Comments »

Shaking loose the secret sadness.

Posted on July 17, 2007 by Chris

[F]ear reveals itself in over-inflated egos and attitude; the degree to which individuals reinforce their delusions about what they think they are. Some people are so lost in their fantasy world of denial and illusion that they have difficulty discerning even the most basic truths, or to accept the glaringly obvious even when it is [...]

Filed under: Addiction, Amends, Culture and Society, Family and Friends, Forgiveness, Men, Personal Reflections, crystal meth, early recovery, methamphetamine | 5 Comments »

God Gave Us Brains To Use

Posted on July 11, 2007 by Chris

Recently Wayward Son left a comment to a post regarding my assertion that being smart is a liability when it comes to getting sober. I’m afraid I left a rather aggressive response and for that I’m sorry. I still stand by my reply but I should have been kinder in making it. [...]

Filed under: Addiction, Amends, Family and Friends, Mind, Personal Reflections, Willingness, recovery | 3 Comments »